I GOT THIS FROM ANOTHER BOARD (OSBB)BUT FOUND IT FUNNY AND WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU GUYS!!
When girls don't put out!!

i didn't write this, but it's good...

Girls....Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much, and I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

I've seen this several times but no matter how many times I read it I still crack up

Lawl! who ever did that is the fking man!

D you should try that on your girl since shes always tellin you that shes not in the mood..

My ex didn't put out as much i would actually be able to watch movies and shit but then when she did put out alot i couldn't watch a movie anymore without touching her or having a boner or thinking about nailing her.. lol

diesaff! lies lies lies!! bro ur the one telling me ur not in the mood, dont be silly! just cuz we make sweet sweet straight male love, doesnt mean its the reason y u walk funny ( tehehehehe ) well i rarely have this problem but like 9/10 times i get it when i need it, tehehehe. but man i read this like every day im on forum memorizing it, shits awesome! btw die were not having a cuddle night tonight again, im getting it out of u! SO be prepared!! muahahhahahaha

Ive seen this before too. its hilarious!

I think it is the man's problem when she is telling "i'm not in the mood" or "i'm tired", that means ou haven't done enough she to want you.

too long didn't read it

Hey why then you are posting such feedback, I think it is not pleasant for the poster....Read it and then post.